My AngeL….my son

In Uncategorized on October 28, 2010 at 6:21 pm

He is 7-teen and his x-girlfriend is 9-teen.  @ the time I thought OMG, I was strong and I didn’t let him see the fear in my eyes or let my voice quiver when we spoke of her. But I was very much afraid of what this ‘relationship’ would be. He isn’t wild or careless with his actions, overall he is a pretty good kid. Rumors about her had circulated around our apartment complex mostly coming from her brother, who was a friend of his first. Pretty soon, he asked if he could sleepover, I gave him the talk, I emphazied the importance of waiting and being careful with his future. He said, ‘Don’t you trust me, Mom?’  I was trying to accept his decisions, hoping I wasn’t giving him to much slack, remembering what I had done as a teenager, I crossed my fingers and bit my tongue……

Time passes and I ask about their future, have they made plans…college? He isn’t sure but I’ve noticed he isn’t staying the night as often as before….good, right? There sure is a great difference between parent and child and now in my mind I can hear my parents wisdom and my thoughts, at the time.  What could they have known about me, and now I’m on the other side, wondering what does he want…from life … tomorrow?

Several times I had checked his FaceBook page, maybe there would be some kind of hint to his doings,unfortunately  his thoughts too random to pinpoint but it seemed he might have a big decision to make and was unsure. He had begun to see her less and less and than I asked about ‘them’. He said she wanted a sexual relationship (of course, he didn’t say the word sex) and he wasn’t sure about doing the deed. She had been complaining of ‘needing some’, sounded like a case of blue balls, lol.

As a mother I wanted to hold him and hug him and place him back on the top shelf.  One day she did break it off with him and I asked him how he was doing. He said, “Mom, I haven’t met many girls who don’t want a physical relationship. And I don’t think I’m ready for that.” I sighed deeply, wow, he has been listening.

“Son, take your time getting to know someone, she will wait. You get only one first time, I speak from experience, make it special.”

One foot in front of the other, right?

In Insight, Uncategorized on October 28, 2010 at 12:34 am

How does one move forward, stay in the same place and yet, I know what the outcome is to be? My bubble is enclosed, the path is worn out and still I know not what is to happen!!